Lara’s World


Merry Christmas Simon FO

Blogland, you will love this. I swear to God.

Last summer, I grabbed myself a job doing the lunch shift at a little pizza place. I needed something part time, and I had just read a couple of Terry Saltz mysteries. He was a carpenter who also worked for a pizza place, and I loved the generosity of spirit of both Terry and all who worked there. They were a team, and contributed to the best of their abilities to get the job done. So I figured, why not? On Craigslist one day I found a job posting asking for someone to do the counter and phones, etc. at lunch 5 days a week. I emailed the poster and said I was interested, had some experience, and left my contact info. Simon called my cell and left a voicemail giving me the rough details and also left a phone number to call him. A phone number I could not understand, though I listened probably 6 times. Basically, I had the name “Simon,” the town, and the fact that they made pizza. Nothing else. What did I do? I googled “Simon,” the town, and the word “pizza.” And up came an article that had been written about the shop two years before.

Fast forward to when I’ve been there a couple of weeks. During a quiet moment I decide to mess with Simon a bit and tell him how I couldn’t understand his vm and only found the restaurant because I was psychic. (No connection to any of my earlier posts – I was just playing around). I figured I could at least make him wonder how I found the place. So I tell him I’m psychic, and what does my new boss say? “I know – I read your blog.”

Can you say “I Feel Naked?” He’d read my blog? Apparently, he’d googled me too when I came to work there. Sheesh. I did ultimately explain how I really found his shop. But sheesh. There’s no going back once your boss has read your blog. And it gets better; from time to time he’d mention to my coworkers that I had a really nice blog and that they should check it out. I think I managed to distract them from doing this, but who knows? Maybe they all tune in. I hadn’t updated it for sometime actually, and only started up again recently. So maybe Simon has stopped tuning in himself. I guess we won’t know until he leaves a comment. And he will, if he reads this. Believe you me. For example: one day I laughingly told him to give a customer extra ketchup because the customer was cute. Simon, without batting an eye, turned around and told the customer why he was getting extra ketchup. Yes, this is who I work for, people.

So anyway, fast forwarding again, a couple of weeks before Christmas, a guy with a cute handmade hat walked into the store one day and confessed that yes, his gf had knit the hat for him. Simon thought that was pretty nice, and when I asked him what he’d want if I made him something for Christmas, he picked a scarf. And a color. Do you know how hard it is to find purple yarn that a man could wear? Simon did inform me that he was secure enough in his masculinity to wear any purple yarn that I wanted to use (cough), but after perusing a bit, I found a gor-gee-yous Rowan tweed, Harris Tweed Aran, to be specific, in a color called “Thistle.” It’s a deep, rich violet flecked with purple and red, 100% virgin wool from the hills and dales of Scotland…ahem. I set to work a couple of weeks before Christmas, and gave him the finished product today:

I was a little verklemt to give it up, actually. I’d put in a lot of time and energy, in the best possible sense. You see, I consider Simon a heart friend. He’s generous in a big way, and always seems to try to be the best person he can be. I’m sure he wouldn’t put it that way, but there it is. He’s a thinking man, and likes to debate. (In fact, debating is a HUGE pastime for most who work at this shop.) I’m grateful for him in my life and as my boss, so I put a lot of love into this scarf. Have you ever made a healing shawl?? Well that’s exactly what I did. I created it with the intention and request of the universe that it be a healing scarf, and that it remind Simon that he is loved whenever he wears it. I knit it with the intention that he and his wife and kids experience great peace, happiness, and joy. I find that healing shawls have a lot of power, and you know it when you’ve just placed one around your shoulders. This is what I wanted for the Sime-ster.

Now Simon is also like a big brother to me…which means many good things, and also means that sometimes we drive each other apesh*t. The holiday season was a bit stressful, and as I knit I reminded myself of all the wonderful things he’s done for me, and chose that to focus on, instead of being irritated. Hehheh. It does help,though. Seriously, read up on the Law of Attraction. At the end of the day, anything I could complain about with regard to him, he could make an identical complaint about me. Which is why I didn’t complain when he asked for 1/2 inch fringe on the ends of his scarf. If you promise not to tell him, I will confess to you that the fringe is actually about 1 inch long:

For you knitters, the scarf is about 56 inches long, and about 6 inches wide…unless you stretch it out until it measures about 10 inches wide. Why is one able to do this, you ask? Because it was knit in an aran design called a speckled rib from the Encyclopedia of Knit and Crochet Stitches. If you like what you see, grab an aran weight yarn and cast on 27 stitches with size 8 straights. Knit the speckled rib until the scarf is as long as you want it to be. I have to tell you, knitting with Harris Tweed (I think it’s now produced as Rowan Scottish Tweed) was a super treat. It’s not the kind of yarn I go for for myself…I tend to be the bargain girl, but have broken that habit I hope. It makes sense to buy the best you can afford of what you like the most…a piece will have a whole different energy about it. That’s why I chose this yarn for Simon’s scarf. In addition to the piece, your experience of creating it will have a whole different energy too…higher, more loving, more special, more magical.

Aside from verklemtness, it was also nice to hand it over today. Since Christmas I’ve been having pangs of guilt that it wasn’t done yet. Sheesh. Now, I’d recently made some real progress, so it was well underway. This past weekend I brought my new nephew and his parents up to the shop to introduce them all and buy dinner. I quietly told Simon I was not there for a discount (after he jokingly offered me one if I prepped some of the food), but that I simply wanted to introduce my blood family to my Bravo family, and to get the former some great food for supper. When we went to leave, Simon wouldn’t let me pay him. As in, ignored me (i.e., pretended I wasn’t speaking) when I tried to argue. We went home and feasted, believe you me. My brother had chosen the shop’s famous grilled chicken dinner, and once he managed to steal a few of my (also famous) steak tips, vowed to go back up there whenever he came to visit. Please. My whole family had already had nominated Simon for sainthood for generosity alone. And Simon and my brother got to talk politics and trade jokes about what a pain in the ass I am; I think they may get engaged, to be honest. Regardless, after all this, I said to my mother, “I think I better hurry up and finish this man’s scarf.” And actually, it wasn’t out of guilt at all. I felt a sincere gratitude in my heart, and channeled that energy to finish a purple tweed scarf for a kind friend.

So I finished it, and danged if it didn’t feel pretty good around my neck. But I tied a bow around it and gave it to its intended. Who seemed to like it pretty much.



Basking and Communing…Here Comes the Sun

Recently I described how I’ve been sunbathing in my room upon waking, and after a few minutes of soaking in the sun and communing with the divine, I recite aloud the following affirmative prayer that I discovered in a tag surf here at WordPress. It’s a great accompaniment to working with the Law of Attraction because it gets to the root of whatever we might be trying to create…and this is the most direct path to co-creation; getting clear on what you want. For example, if you are focused on creating a lot of money, perhaps the root of what you want is really safety and freedom and fun. Therefore, safety and freedom and fun are what will really help you feel at peace, however they manifest in your life. You can read about the prayer here. For me, this prayer represents manifesting some of my highest ideals for living in this life as a loving and powerful being. Manifesting…really, the more I do this work, the more I feel that we are not so much creating as allowing a preferred reality that already exists to manifest as our primary reality.

Imagine that you are simply choosing to shift your consciousness to a different reality, where infinite realities exist side by side. I can feel them when I focus on it, and sometimes it feels like a a little jump will get me to what I’m focusing on. I think this is what are doing when we are engaging the Law of Attraction. When you focus on what you know you can do and be (for instance, a long time dream for your life), maybe you are simply shifting focus to a new plane of existence, and perhaps this is why some us of know so strongly what we are “destined” for. I’ve come to believe that destiny is a function of a choice + a potential. Choose your highest potential today.

The Silent Prayer

In my heart, I accept my perfect Being.
I accept that the joy that I have intended is already in my life.
I accept that love I have prayed for is already within me.
I accept that the peace I have asked for is already my reality.
I accept that the abundance I have sought already fills my life.

In my truth, I accept my perfect Being.
I take responsibility for my own creations,
And all things that are within my life.
I acknowledge the power of Spirit that is within me,
And know that all things are as they should be.

In my wisdom, I accept my perfect Being.
My lessons have been carefully chosen by my Self,
And now I walk through them in full experience.
My path takes me on a sacred journey with divine purpose.
My experiences become part of All That Is.

In my knowingness, I accept my perfect Being.
In this moment, I sit in my golden chair
And know that I Am an angel of light.
I look upon the golden tray – the gift of Spirit –
And know that all of my desires already have been fufilled.

In love for my Self, I accept my perfect Being.
I cast no judgment or burdens upon my Self.
I accept that everything in my past was given in love.
I accept that everything in this moment comes from love.
I accept that everything in my future will result in greater love.

In my Being, I accept my perfection.
And so it is.

Namaste.



100 Days of Co-Creation, Loving the Law

So I’ve been playing with and learning about abundance for a few years now. Conscious co-creation really does work, and I’ve been feeling around looking for the best way to apply it in a bigger way and to create the things/experiences I want now.

I’ve been inspired to spend the next 100 days consciously working with and applying these laws to my life. The program at that link begins today (I found it on a blog here; shout out if it was yours) and decided to give it a go. I was kind of busy today but wanted to take a concrete step of some sort.

So I headed out to Borders tonight and grabbed some books I’ve been wanting, in relation to all this, and practiced consciously spending the money in a peaceful state of mind, and being grateful for these wonderful new spirit toys!!! Yay! I consciously chose the ones that really resonated with me, and got all the ones I wanted.

Can I tell you; it was SO fun! Such a simple thing, but it was great because I did what my spirit guided me to do. Surrounding yourself with things that bring you joy is a principle of Feng Shui, and is so important, and worked well here. Taking everything I wanted from my heart and only what I wanted was really wonderful.

Since you’re dying to know, here’s what I got:

Masaru Emoto’s Love Thyself: The Message from Water III

Louise Hay’s I Can Do It: How to Use Affirmations to Change Your Life

Esther And Jerry Hicks’ The Amazing Power of Deliberate Intent: Living the Art of Allowing

Esther And Jerry Hicks’ The Law of Attraction: The Basics of the Teachings of Abraham

I already own Ask and It Is Given. And, Oh! The main aspect of abundance and creation that my guides talk about lately is Making a Decision. I.e., choosing what I want to create. In order to do that effectively, you have to be in touch with your heart. Which is what I’m actively learning about right now. So to the above mix I added a guided meditation on CD by Cheryl Richardson, called Tuning In: Listening to the Voice of Your Soul. And on that note, I think I’ll head off to bed and pop it into the player (yet another act towards applying the principles in my life in a more active way. And I’ll be lying down no less).

Be Well!



Symptoms of Spiritual Awakening: A list
February 13, 2007, 10:59 am
Filed under: angels, awakening, Energy, intuition, metaphysical, metaphysics, Spirit

In my last post I talked about old emotions that surface for releasing. It’s not always that intense, but I was trying to share with you one of the more challenging times. There are days when lots of old stuff comes up, and it can be difficult, or not seem to make any sense. Why am I remembering this?? It’s less challenging when you know what’s going on and can allow things to flow without getting in the way. Now, yesterday I remembered something really nice, a guy who was really sweet and loving, from a long time ago. But unlike your usual memory, what happened was a sense of him washed over me in a (really nice) wave. Now this could be something to be processed, or it could be a heads up that an energy like this will be coming into my life soon (will let you know when I know), but I guess my point is, the things that surface for you will not make logical sense all the time. They are not from the intellect, after all. When you accept that this surfacing is occurring and don’t place judgements or fear around it, it enhances the experience. I do my best to let it flow, remove myself from the drivers seat, and trust that all is unfolding for the highest good.

There are some issues that are rising for me that are hard. Forgiveness. Please GOD help me with this. 🙂 But the key is to back off and allow, and I’m officially intending now to allow these issues to arise and be contemplated gently.

Previously what I’ve done is to get mad all over again.

But Forgiveness is a whole other post.

I know that I have experienced lots of physical stuff within the ascension process. Now please understand, I’m not talking about the ultimate ascension, but simply the process of taking in and holding more light as your vibration rises. It’s ongoing, and I got to a point where physical changes needed to occur. Yes, that’s right folks; the body gets to be part of this, and it can be disconcerting, as well as oddly fun. It can also be a bit painful. Bodywork (massage, energy modalities) will be greatly helpful to you as you go through this. I also use a lot of self healing, and healing by non-physical helpers. I just love writing this, I do. I’m writing this picturing the folks who will read it and think I’m fruity. But I’m writing it anyway for those of you who will read it and be relieved that there are other “fruity” people like you. 🙂 Cause I know you’re out there. In fact, I ran into another wordpress post from greenlavender who was discussing the same emotional stuff that I wrote about in the post linked to above. And someone found my blog though the search terms spiritual awakening old emotions integration. So I know you are out there. And while I’m not done with the process, I’ve come far enough to tell you you’re not crazy and it will get better.

I will go into detail on my own experiences, physical and otherwise, however, the reason for this post was to provide you with a list I found online. I’ve found it several places (by throwing in the search terms I mentioned above) and will list it here in it’s entirety. From what I can deduce, its by Ellen Montgomery, and is copyrighted 2001, with reposting of the complete article allowed. Please leave a comment if you recognize any of this stuff in your own life; I’d be interested to know. Without Further Ado, Ellen’s Article:

Symptoms of Spiritual Awakening, by Ellen Montgomery

For the past several years, many of my friends, students, and clients have described experiencing a multitude of changes, strange feelings and physicalsensations. I myself have been passing through an unusual period of my lifethat, in many ways, matches that of my friends. At first, I labeled what was happening to me as a mid-life crisis and/or menopause. But I began to observe similar conditions among men and all age groups. At that point I began to compare notes with others and do some research into this subject.

What follows is a compilation of my findings. Many of these may seem bizarre to some readers, but I can assure you that these conditions exist among healthy, mentally and emotionally sound adults from around the world.

One note of caution: I am not recommending that anyone ignore major physical or emotional conditions requiring professional attention. So please do not overlook any serious medical condition . But if this list is in anyway helpful to those of you who are confused and worried about some of these symptoms, so be it.

The advice given for many of the symptoms is also gathered from various sources (books on traditional spiritual practices as well as channeled information) and may not reflect my own personal experience. As with anything, use discernment: if it’s useful, fine; if not, ignore it. One excellent book to read is What Is Lightbody? Archangel Ariel channeled by Tashira Tachi-ren. OrJack Kornfield’s A Path with Heart.

We all experience our spiritual development in our own unique way. For someof us the changes occur slowly; for others a series of events can trigger sudden growth. We do not all share the same symptoms or changes.

And certainly we hold our individual spiritual beliefs. We are as different as snowflakes, yet we share a common essence and general shape. Some of this information may resonate for you. Other concepts may not be comfortable for you. Each of us must examine new information and discern for ourselves what is truth and what does not serve us.

So I ask you to do this for yourself as you read this list. You are responsible for your own interpretation. Peace and Love, Ellen ellen@hevanet.com SYMPTOMS OF SPIRITUAL AWAKENING

1. Changing sleep patterns: restlessness, hot feet, waking up two or three times a night. Feeling tired after you wake up and sleepy off and on during the day. There is something called the Triad Sleep Pattern that occurs for many: you sleep for about 2-3 hours, wake up, go back to sleep for another couple of hours, wake again, and go back to sleep again. For others, the sleeprequirements have changed. You can get by on less sleep.
Lately I have been experiencing huge waves of energy running into my body from the crown. It feels good, but it keeps me awake for a long time, then subsides.

Advice: Get used to it. Make peace with it and don’t worry about getting enough sleep (which often causes more insomnia). You will be able to make it through the day if you hold thoughts of getting just what you need. You can also request your Higher Power to give you a break now and then and give you a good, deep night’s sleep.

If you can’t go back to sleep right away, use the waking moments to meditate, read poetry, write in your journal or look at the moon. Your body will adjust to the new pattern.

2. Activity at the crown of the head: Tingling, itching, prickly, crawling sensations along the scalp and/or down the spine. A sense of energy vibrating on top of the head, as if energy is erupting from the head in a shower. Also the sensation of energy pouring in through the crown, described as “sprinkles”.

This may also be experienced as pressure on the crown, as if someone is pushing his/her finger into the center of your head. As I mentioned in #1, I have been experiencing huge downloads of energy through the crown.
In the past, I have felt more generalized pressure, as if my head is in a gentle vise. One man related that his hair stood on end and his body was covered with goosebumps.

Advice: This is nothing to be alarmed about. What you are experiencing is an opening of the crown chakra. The sensations mean that you are opening up to receive divine energy.

3. Sudden waves of emotion. Crying at the drop of a hat. Feeling suddenly angry or sad with little provocation. Or unexplicably depressed. Then very happy. Emotional roller coaster. There is often a pressure or sense of emotions congested in the heart chakra (the middle of the chest). This is not to beconfused with the heart, which is located to the left of the heart chakra.

Advice: Accept your feelings as they come up and let them go. Go directly to your heart chakra and feel the emotion. Expand it outward to your all yourfields and breathe deeply from the belly all the way up to your upper chest. Just feel the feeling and let it evaporate on its own. Don’t direct the emotions at anyone.

You are cleaning out your past. If you want some help with this, say out loud that you intend to release all these old issues and ask your Higher Power to help you. You can also ask Grace Elohim to help you release with ease and gentleness. Be grateful that your body is releasing theseemotions and not holding onto them inside where they can do harm.

One source suggests that depression is linked to letting go of relationships to people, work, etc. that no longer match us and our frequencies. When we feel guilty about letting go of these relationships, depression helps us medicate that pain.

4. Old “stuff” seems to be coming up, as described above, and the people with whom you need to work it out (or their clones) appear in your life. Completion issues.

Or perhaps you need to work through issues of self-worth, abundance, creativity, addictions, etc. The resources or people you need to helpyou move through these issues start to appear.

Advice: Same as #3. Additionally, don’t get too involved in analyzing these issues. Examining them too much will simply cycle you back through them over and over again at deeper and deeper levels. Get professional help if you need to and walk through it.

Do not try to avoid them or disassociate yourself from them. Embrace whatever comes up and thank it for helping you move ahead. Thank your Higher Power for giving you the opportunity to release these issues. Remember, you don’t want these issues to stay stuck in your body.

5. Changes in weight. The weight gain in the US population is phenomenal. Other people may be losing weight.

We often gain weight because many fears we have suppressed are now coming up to the surface to be healed. We react by building up a defense. We also attempt to ground ourselves or provide bulk against increasing frequencies in our bodies.

Advice: Don’t freak out, but just accept it as a symptom of where you are right now. You will release/gain the weight when all your fears have been integrated. Release your anxiety about this. Then you might find it easier to lose/gain the weight eventually. Exercise.

Before eating, try this: Sit at the table with an attractive place setting. Light a candle. Enjoy how the food looks. Place your dominant hand over your heart and bless the food. Tell your body that you are going to use the food to richly nourish it, but that you are not going to use the food to fulfill your emotional hungers.

Then pass your hand from left to right over the food and bless it. You may notice that the food feels warm to your hand even if the food is cold– I like to think that the food is good for me when it feels warm and nourishing to my hand. I have also noticed that when I practice blessing the food, I don’t eat as much. It is important not to let yourself off the hook when you forget to bless the food before you eat.
If I’ve forgotten and I’ve nearly finished eating, I bless the food anyway. That way I don’t slip out of the habit. Another thing you can do is to stay present while eating — don’t watch TV or read. Heartily enjoy what blessings are before you.

6. Changes in eating habits: Strange cravings and odd food choices. Some find they are not as hungry as they used to be. Or hungrier.

Advice: Don’t deny what your body tells you it needs. If you are not sure, you might try muscle-testing before you chose a food to see if it’s what your body wants. Also try blessing the food as described in #5.

7. Food intolerances, allergies you never had before: As you grow more spiritual, you are more sensitive to everything around you. Your body will tell you what it can no longer tolerate, as if it, too, is sloughing off what doesn’t serve it anymore. You might be cleansing yourself of toxins. Some people find they often have a white residue in their mouth, much like that of runners at the end of a race.

Advice: An acupuncturist told me that this film can be removed by sloshing 2 tablespoons of cold-pressed olive oil in your mouth for 10-15 minutes (don’t swallow, whatever you do), then spitting it out into the toilet — not the sink, for you just removed toxins from your body and don’t want them in the sink. Brush your teeth and do the same. Then clean your brush. (Sorry this is yukky, but it works.)

8. Amplification of the senses. Increased sensitivity.

8a. Sight: Blurry vision, shimmering objects, seeing glittery particles, auras around people, plants, animals, and objects. Some report seeing formerlyopaque objects as transparent. When you close your eyes, you no longer see darkness, but a redness. You may also see geometric shapes or brilliant colors and pictures when eyes are closed. Colors appear more vivid — the sky might look teal or the grass an amazing green. Often I see grids running across the ground.

As you become more sensitive, you may see shapes or outlines in the air, especially when the room is almost dark. When your eyes are open or closed, you may see white shapes in your peripheral vision (these are your guides).

Advice: Your vision is changing in many ways — you are experiencing new ways of seeing. Be patient. Whatever you do, do not be afraid. Hazy vision maybe relieved by yawning.

8b. Hearing: Increased or decreased hearing. I once thought I would have to pull off the road because of the painfully amplified sound of my tires on the freeway. Other symptoms are hearing white noise in the head, beeps, tones, music or electronic patterns. Some hear water rushing, bees buzzing, whooshing, roaring or ringing. Others have what is called audio dyslexia– you can’t always make out what people are saying, as if you can no longer translate your own language.

Some hear strange voices in their dreams, as if someoneis hovering near them. You can either ask the presence(s) to leave or ask Archangel Michael to take care of the situation. Again, there is nothing to fear.

Advice: Surrender to it. Let it come through. Listen. Your ears are adjusting to new frequencies.

8c. Enhanced senses of smell, touch, and/or taste. I notice I can now smell and taste chemical additives in some foods in a rather unpleasant manner. Other food may taste absolutely wonderful. For some people, these enhancements are both delightful and distracting. You might even smell the fragrance of flowers now and then. Many of the mystics did. Enjoy it.

9. Skin eruptions: Rashes, bumps, acne, hives, and shingles. Anger produces outbreaks around the mouth and chin. I had a dermatitis on my extremities for several months that accompanied healing an episode from my past. When I had worked through most of the issue, the condition was released.

Advice: You may be sloughing off toxins and bringing emotions to the surface. When there is an issue to be released and you are trying to repress it, your skin will express the issue for you until you process the emotions. Work through your “stuff”.

10. Episodes of intense energy which make you want to leap out of bed and into action. Followed by periods of lethargy and fatigue. The fatigue usually follows great shifts. This is a time of integration, so give into it.

Advice: Roll with the nature of the energy. Don’t fight it. Be gentle with yourself. Take naps if you are tired. Write your novel if you are too energized to sleep. Take advantage of the type of energy.

11. Changes in prayer or meditation. Not feeling the same sensations as before. Not having the same experience of being in contact with Spirit. Difficulty in focusing.

Advice: You may be in more instant and constant communion with Spirit now and the sensation may therefore be altered. You will adapt to this new feeling. You are actually thinking and acting in partnership with Spirit most of the time now. You may find your meditation periods shorter.

12. Power surges: All of a sudden you are heated from head to toe. It is a momentary sensation, but uncomfortable. In contrast, some people have felt inexplicably cold. I have experienced both. More recently I experience waves or currents of energy rolling through me. Sometimes the energy seems so intense when it first comes into my body that I feel a little nauseated.

But if I think of the energy as divine and let go of fear, I feel wonderful and enjoy the sensation. If you are an energy worker, you may have noticed that the heat running through your hands has increased tremendously. This is good. Advice: If you are uncomfortable, ask your Higher Power, that if it be for your best and highest good, to turn down/up the temperature a bit.

13. A range of physical manifestations: Headaches, backaches, neck pains, flu-like symptoms (this is called vibrational flu), digestive problems, muscular spasms or cramps, racing heartbeat, chest pains, changes in sexual desire, numbness or pain in the limbs, and involuntary vocalizations or bodily movements. Some of us have even had old conditions from childhood reappear briefly for healing.

Advice: Remember what I said about seeking medical help if you need it! If you have determined that this is not a medical condition, relax in the realization that it is only temporary.

14. Looking younger. Yippee! As you clear emotional issues and release limiting beliefs and heavy baggage from the past, you are actually lighter. Your frequency is higher. You love yourself and life more. You begin to resemble the perfect you that you really are.

15. Vivid dreams. Sometimes the dreams are so real that you wake up confused. You may even have lucid dreams in which you are in control. Many dreams may be mystical or carry messages for you. And in some dreams, you just know that you are not “dreaming” — that what is happening is somehow real. Advice: You will remember what is important for you to remember. Don’t force anything. Above all, stay out of fear.

16. Events that completely alter your life: death, divorce, change in job status, loss of home, illness, and/or other catastrophes — sometimes severalat once! Forces that cause you to slow down, simplify, change, re-examine who you are and what your life means to you. Forces that you cannot ignore. Forces that cause you release your attachments. Forces that awaken your senseof love and compassion for all.

17. A desire to break free from restrictive patterns, life-draining jobs consumptive lifestyles, and toxic people or situations. You feel a compelling need to “find yourself” and your life purpose — now! You want to be creative and free to be who you really are. You might find yourself drawn to the arts and nature. You want to unclutter yourself from things and people that nolonger serve you. Advice: Do it!

18. Emotional and mental confusion: A feeling that you need to get your life straightened out–it feels like a mess. But at the same time you feel chaotic and unable to focus. See #45.

Advice: Put your ear to your heart and your own discernment will follow.

19. Introspection, solitude and loss of interest in more extraverted activities: This stage has come as a surprise to many extraverts who formerly saw themselves as outgoing and involved. They say, “I don’t know why, but I don’t like to go out as much as before.”

20. Creativity bursts: Receiving images, ideas, music, and other creative inspirations at an often overwhelming rate.

Advice: At least record these inspirations, for Spirit is speaking to you about how you might fulfill your purpose and contribute to the healing of theplanet.

21. A perception that time is accelerating. It seems that way because you have had so many changes introduced into your life at an unprecedented rate. The number of changes seems to be growing.

Advice: Breaking your day up into appointments and time segments increases the sense of acceleration
You can slow time down by relaxing into the present moment and paying attention to what’s at hand, not anticipating what’s ahead. Slow down and tell yourself that you have plenty of time. Ask your Higher Power to help you. Keep your focus on the present. Try to flow from one activity to the next. Stay tuned to your inner guidance..You can also warp time by asking for it. Next time you feel rushed, say, “Time warp, please. I need some more time to —–.” Then relax. 22. A sense of impendingness. There is a feeling that something is about to happen. This can create anxiety.

Advice: There is nothing to worry about. Things are definitely happening, but anxiety only creates more problems for you. All your thoughts — positiveor negative– are prayers. There is nothing to fear.

23. Impatience. You know better, but sometimes you can’t help it. You want to get on with what seems to be coming your way. Uncertainty is not comfortable. Advice: Learn to live with the uncertainty, knowing that nothing comes to you until you are ready. Impatience is really a lack of trust, especially trust in your Higher Power. When you focus on the present, you will experience miracles — yes, even in traffic.

24. A deep yearning for meaning, purpose, spiritual connection, and revelation. Perhaps an interest in the spiritual for the first time in your life. “Constant craving”, as k.d. lang says. The material world cannot fulfill this longing. Advice: Follow your heart and the way will open up for you.

25. A feeling that you are somehow different. A disquieting sense that everything in your life feels new and altered, that you have left your old self behind. You have. You are much greater than you can possibly imagine. There is more to come.

26. “Teachers” appear everywhere with perfect timing to help you on your spiritual journey: people, books, movies, events, Mother Nature, etc. Teachers may appear to be negative or positive when you are trapped in polarity thinking, but, from a transcendent perspective, they are always perfect. Just what you need to learn from and move on. By the way, we never get more than we are ready to master. Each challenge presents us with an opportunity to show our mastery in passing through it.

27. You find a spiritual track that makes sense to you and “speaks to you” at the most profound levels. Suddenly you are gaining a perspective that you would never have considered before. You hunger to know more. You read, share with others, ask questions, and go inside to discover more about who you are and why you are here

28. You are moving through learning and personal issues at a rapid pace. You sense that you are “getting it” quite readily.

Advice: Keep remembering that things will come to you when they are ready to be healed. Not sooner. Deal with whatever comes up with courage and you will move through the issues rapidly.

29. Invisible presences. Here is the woo-woo stuff. Some people report feeling surrounded by beings at night or having the sensation of being touched or talked to. Often they will wake with a start. Some also feel their body or bed vibrate. The vibrations are caused by energetic changes after emotional clearing has taken place.

Advice: This is a sensitive topic, but you may feel better blessing your bed and space around it before you sleep. I rest assured that I am surrounded only by the most magnificent spiritual entities and am always safe in God’s care. Sometimes, however, the fear gets to me, and I call in Archangel Michael and/or Archangel Uriel. I don’t beat myself up for being afraid sometimes. I forgive myself for not always [being] sovereign at 3:00 a.m.

30. Portents, visions, “illusions”, numbers, and symbols: Seeing things that have spiritual importance for you. Noticing how numbers appear synchronistically in your awareness. Everything has a message if you take the time to look. I enjoy the experience of “getting the messages.” What fun!

31. Increased integrity: You realize that it is time for you to seek and speak your truth. It suddenly seems important for you to become more authentic, more yourself. You may have to say “no” to people whom you have tried to please in the past. You may find it intolerable to stay in a marriage or job or place that doesn’t support who you are. You may also find there is nowhere to hide, no secrets to keep anymore. Honesty becomes important in all your relationships.

Advice: Listen to your heart. If your guidance tells you not to do something, speak up and take action. Say “no”. Likewise, you must also say “yes” to that which compels you. You must risk displeasing others without guilt in order to attain spiritual sovereignty.

32. Harmony with seasons and cycles: You are becoming more tuned to the seasons, the phases of the moon and natural cycles. More awareness of your place in the natural world. A stronger connection to the earth.

33. Electrical and mechanical malfunctions: When you are around, lightbulbs flicker, the computer locks up, or the radio goes haywire. Advice: Call on your angels, guides, or Grace Elohim to fix it or put up a field of protection of light around the machine. Surround your car with bluelight. Laugh.

34. Increased synchronicity and many small miracles. Look for more of these.

Advice: Synchronistic events tell you if you are heading in the right direction or making the correct choices. Honor these clues and you cannot go astray. Spirit uses synchronicity to communicate to you. That’s when you begin to experience daily miracles. See #30.

35. Increased intuitive abilities and altered states of consciousness: Thinking of someone and immediately hearing from them. More synchronicities. Having sudden insights about patterns or events from the past. Clairvoyance, out-of-body experiences, and other psychic phenomena. Intensified sensitivity and knowing. Awareness of one’s essence and that of others. Channeling angelic and Christ-consciousness energies.

36. Communication with Spirit. Contact with angels, spirit guides, and other divine entities. Channeling. More and more people seem to be given this opportunity. Feeling inspiration and downloading information that takes form as writing, painting, ideas, communications, dance, etc.

37. A sense of Oneness with all. A direct experience of this Wholeness. Transcendent awareness. Being flooded with compassion and love for all life. Compassionate detachment or unconditional love for all is what lifts us up to higher levels of consciousness and joy.

38. Moments of joy and bliss. A deep abiding sense of peace and knowing that you are never alone.

39. Integration: You become emotionally, psychologically, physically, and spiritually stronger and clearer. You feel as if you are in alignment with your Higher Self.

40. Living your purpose: You know you are finally doing what you came to earth for. New skills and gifts are emerging, especially healing ones. Your life/work experiences are now converging and starting to make sense. You are finally going to use them all.

Advice: Listen to your heart. Your passion leads you to where you must go. Go within and ask your Higher Power, “What is it you would have me do?” Watch for synchronicities. Listen.

41. Feeling closer to animals and plants. To some people, animals now seem to be more “human” in their behavior. Wild animals are less afraid. Plants respond to your love and attention more than ever. Some may even have messages for you.

42. Seeing beings of other dimensions. The veil between dimensions is thinner, so it is not surprising. Just stay in your sovereignty. You are more powerful than you can ever imagine, so do not entertain fear. Ask your guides for help if you slip into fear.

43. Seeing a person’s true form or seeing loved ones with a different face — past life or parallel life.

44. Physically manifesting thoughts and desires more quickly and efficiently.

Advice: Monitor your thoughts. All thoughts are prayers. Be careful what you ask for.

45. Left-brain fogginess. Your psychic abilities, your intuitive knowing, your feeling and compassion, your ability to experience your body, your visioning, your expressiveness all emanate from the right brain. In order for this side of the brain to develop more fully, the left brain must shut down a little bit. Normally the left-hemisphere’s capacity for order, organization,structure, linear sequencing, analysis, evaluation, precision, focus, problem-solving, and mathematics dominate our often less-valued right brain.

What results are memory lapses, placing words in the wrong sequence, inability or no desire to read for very long, inability to focus; forgetting what you are just about to say; impatience with linear forms of communication (audio or written formats); a feeling of spaciness, being scattered; losing interest in research or complex information; feeling bombarded with words and talk and information; and a reluctance to write. Sometimes you feel dull and have no interest in analysis, lively intellectual discussion, or investigation.

On the other hand, you might find yourself drawn to the sensate: videos, magazines with photos, beautiful artwork, movies, music, sculpting, painting, being with people, dancing, gardening, walking, and other kinesthetic forms of expression. You may search for spiritual content, even science fiction.

Advice: You may discover that if you allow your heart and your right brain to lead you, the left will then be activated appropriately to support you. And someday we will be well-balanced, using both hemispheres with mastery.

46. Dizziness. This occurs when you are ungrounded. Perhaps you have just cleared a big emotional issue and your body is adjusting to your “lighter” state.

Advice: Ground yourself by eating protein. Sometimes “comfort food” feels right. Don’t make any food right or wrong for you. Use your guidance to know what you need at any given moment. Take your shoes off and put your feet in the grass for a couple of minutes.

47. Falling, having accidents, breaking bones. Your body is not grounded or perhaps your life is out of balance. Or your body may be telling you to slow down, examine certain aspects of your life, or heal certain issues. There is always a message. When I recently broke my ankle, I understand that my ankle was taking on what I myself refused to deal with. And that was all of the above.

Advice: Stay grounded by taking your shoes off and putting your feet in the grass; even better, lie down on the grass without a blanket under you. Feel the earth beneath you. Get out in nature. Slow down and pay attention. Be mindful about what you are doing. Feel your feelings when they come up. Stay in the present. Surround yourself with blue light when you are feeling shaky.

49. Heart palpitations. A racing heart usually accompanies a heart opening. It only lasts for a few moments and means that the heart is re-balancing itself after an emotional release. I had one episode that terrified me: I woke up in the middle of the night, my heart pounding. I thought it was going to come right out of my chest. It only happened once and was, I understand, a huge heart-chakra opening. But I did check it out. There is nothing wrong with my heart.

Advice: Remember what I said about getting medical attention when needed. Consult your doctor about any conditions you are not comfortable with.

50. Faster hair and nail growth. More protein is being used in the body. Too bad we can’t tell the body where to grow the hair and where not to grow it. (Or can we? Hmmm.)

51. A desire to find your soulmate or twin flame. More than ever before, the idea that we can have a relationship that matches who we are seems more desirable.

Advice: The truth is, we have to be the kind of person we want to attract. We have to love ourselves and where we are right now before we can attract a more “perfect” mate. The work begins at home. Here is how I think it works: Hold the desire for this person in your heart, but without attachment. Expect that someday you will meet someone who is more suited to you, but let go of any expectations as to who this will be and how it will happen. Focus instead on cleaning up your own life and being the kind of person you want to be. Be happy now. Enjoy your life. Then you may see…..

52. Memories surface. Body memories, suppressed memories, images of past lives and/or parallel lives. We are healing and integrating all our “selves”, so expect to have some of these experiences.

Advice. Keep in mind that it is best to recall what only what comes to mind, leave the rest alone, don’t analyze everything to death (because you will be stuck in the tape loop of infinite issues to process), and feel your feelings as they come up. Ask for help from your guides.

Copyright 2001, Ellen Montgomery



Fortune and Cookies a Morning Sunbath

I always tell people that faith is not just hearts and flowers. Faith is an energy required to support your creative goals. Despair will hinder efforts at creation, though luckily faith outweighs despair in the final tally (cause to be honest, we all have moments of each, and one positive thought cancels out a bunch of negative ones).

Yesterday was one of the hard days for me. I was struck by fear and sadness and usually when this happens I run screaming from the urge to meditate and find peace. Overall, its a sense of constant restlessness; why aren’t things happening??? Am I just supposed to sit still? Stillness is challenging for me! I like to motor.

My current situation is such that I know I’m in a period of stillness right now, in my life. Just prior to moving forward in a big way. That presents a couple of issues. 1. I can’t WAIT!!!! NOW NOW NOW NOW NOWNOWNOWNOWNOWNOW! And 2. No one else knows this, only I do. Am I an idiot? Are they thinking I’m an idiot? Have I got any cred left?

Well, at the same time I feel these things, A. I know that it’s a time for waiting and for practicing peace, finding peace when I feel unpeaceful. Getting this practice down pat. And B. It’s a time for getting very clear on what I want and on my intention. This is hard when I just want to DO DO DO, but I get it, and grudgingly know its necessary.

When I say just prior to moving forward, I mean JUST prior: I kept getting a sense that this spring amazing opportunities are opening up for me, jumping for joy opportunities, a chance to motor. I keep getting messages about this too, as in from a medium at my (Spiritualist) church, from my own sense, from readings I do at home (quick angel card draws)…. A couple of weeks ago I spoke about this to a friend who was over to go to lunch one day. I’m teaching her how to tune in and to be honest she’s quite gifted. She felt like mid-April was going to bring big stuff.

I felt better hearing that cause it matched my own feelings, and so we headed off to the best Chinese Buffet in town ($6 includes unlimited beverages. What?!? And the food is the best around. Seriously.) So we had great food and a good time, and on the way out, knowing we can receive messages any time, anywhere, reaching into the fortune cookie bin I said (in my head, please) “Angels, give me a message about spring and moving forward.” What was the message you might ask? To be honest I don’t remember. I think I read it, but at the time I was still blown away by the fact that – well, you know how on a fortune cookie, one side has a message and one side has a word to learn in Chinese? Well, my word was “April.”

So fast forward to yesterday. We had had Chinese the night before (same place, takeout). I was walking with my dog and tuned in to the feeling in my heart, and discovered it was loneliness. I am a singer and supplement this by temping and what not. I haven’t worked outside the house since early December, and everybody else is busy, and I have relationships that are changing and perhaps falling away now, at least in the way I experience them (yeah, I guess I should have said stillness and BIG transformation). I said Guides, I’m lonely. Find me the heart friends I’m supposed to have now. The people I’m supposed to be with now. I got home and gave the dog her cookie and heated up some leftover chinese food and as I ate noticed the fortune cookies from last night on the table, untouched. I grabbed one and opened it, and should mention that it was empty and I spent some time feeling around in my mouth in case I’d eaten the fortune with the first half of the cookie, before discovering the fortune on the floor between my feet. Crunching away I leaned down and picked it up. It said “You will soon be part of many gatherings and parties.” I did have to smile, and say thank you to the kind help and love that surrounds me.

So yesterday was tough, and the moon was just full as you know, and this means for me “release”. And what release means frequently is the surfacing of old emotions to be released. Unfortunately this is like just experiencing them all over again, and they may relate to nothing now. Alternatively or perhaps in addition, if you are practicing a new way of thinking and are overwriting old thoughts with new ones that better serve you, a full moon (and the few days before and after) are a time when the old thoughts and beliefs rise up to be released. So I believe fully in the principles of abundance and the law of Attraction and am integrating this reality into my life. Integration! SUCH such fun! What are the thoughts in this case that might be rising to go? One guess (if you can’t guess, keep reading).

This morning I woke up with a heavyness around me, physical, mental, and I couldn’t even perceive the spiritual, which was interesting, but I digress. I sat up and opened my window and aimed the sun right at my third eye. Right at my head to flush out old thoughts that might be hanging around in the ether. I filled my hands with sunlight and placed them on my heart, solar plexus, my knees, feet, ankles, hips. I used hematite wands and focused on grounding as I took in the sunlight and the solar light (do you know the difference?). And gotdang it if I didn’t start to feel better. I went downstairs and let the pup out and grabbed my water, which I took out on the deck (yes, subzero, or at least it feels like) to fill with more sunlight. I gave thanks to the water and the sun. I breathed nature in deeply. And when I headed back in I said “Ok Angels. Fine. I’m scared. (I did NOT want to write that, but couldn’t seem to proceed until I did.) I don’t have any money. I have bills to pay. You keep telling me I’ll have everything I need, that there is money coming into my life. Where is it? Where is the money? Cause I don’t have it. I don’t have it and I have bills. I don’t know how or why its coming but you say it’s coming so where is it?” Etc. Well, the fortune cookies caught my eye again. But not like “select a fortune cookie for a message”, it was more like, oh, fortune cookies. There they are, so maybe I’ll eat one. I grabbed one and opened it and popped a half into my mouth. I unfurled the fortune and read: “You have an important new business development shaping up.”

Yes I did have to laugh.

For me, in order to release those fears, I have to express them. It doesn’t work to just dump new thoughts on the old and forget them. I had to bring in the new, express the old, and now I can continue in faith. It’s ok for you to feel fear, even when you are choosing something else for your life (faith, abundance, etc.) You can express it and still achieve your goals. It’s a process, and suppression doesn’t aid this process, at least for me. I’m an expressive being. I’m all about expression and learning to express after a lifetime of suppression. I’m an artist for God’s sake. As I move forward honoring the light and the dark, life starts to look more like a dance. I have an image in my mind’s eye of myself dancing along my path, using all of the shapes my body can make, using space up high and low and my ribs and hips and making each movement exactly as I feel it, not trying to make it pretty or something that it’s not. Honoring my intention and fear and love and grace and stumbles and hesitation and knowingness and pausing for direction and running full speed ahead in joy. Honoring my innate wisdom, which is evidenced in all of this. I Am That I Am. I Am All That I Am. I am a creative being, and there is no “wrong.” There is only is. And that’s all for now.



Purpose

I started this blog so I could show off the stuff I was going to make. And potentially the music. I find as I go along that I want to talk about miracles and purpose and spirit and experience and life. And still music. I knew at the outset to call it “Lara’s World,” rather than some cute play on handwork terms (and there are some funny ones out there), so some part of me knew to make it bigger than that. As I open to purpose and transformation and truth in my life, I find the energy flows more readily. Even if I appear (to myself) be standing still, I can still catch the flow that’s coming out of the corner of my eye. It is there and it exists. And now, what’s different in my life than in years before, is, I’m ready for it. I’ll confess that I’m crying now, as I write this. I don’t really know exactly why, it’s not sadness. Not in the least. It’s not tears of joy. It’s…release. (Drying up now, so please don’t run).

Release because my spirit knows that I’m removing some of the burdens I’ve placed on my shoulders for so long. My spirit knows I’m back in the game. On my terms. And it’s been a long time coming.

I remember over a decade ago, rolling over in bed and thinking, There Must Be Something More Than This. And my first inclination, I believe, was to buy a tarot deck. I’ve been on a path since then (even though I put that deck away for a while). I remember the next thing that happened was that I went into a store one evening after work….I’d been driving by it on Route 9 in Natick, MA for months, wondering what a place called Maya’s Dream could be like. I always seemed to miss the cross road it was on, or to decide “not today”. One day I stopped in time to turn off. It was a new age shop. The store was closing. I didn’t want to leave. A class was starting. I headed out to my car to get my wallet to pay for the class, and tripped on the doorsill on the way out, losing a shoe. Hmmm. Got the wallet, headed back in, paid. Needed to go back to my car to get something else, and on the way out, tripped again, and as I did, my keys flew out of my hand, arched into the air and landed deep in a big bush at the side of the steps. Don’t leave. The class was Transformational Breath. That night set me on the quest for more classes and books and discussion and meeting likeminded people. Who also believed in something else. Something More Than This.

And now is finally my time, of doing rather than healing. And I think tears snuck up on me not so much because it’e true, but because I recognize it. I think getting what you ask for requires a hell of a lot of faith. And the gratitude when it arrives is humbling.



Moving Forward Fearlessly…and energy for singing
January 7, 2007, 10:04 pm
Filed under: Energy, Life, singer, Spirit, vocalist

It’s wonderful reading this, from Natasha the Artists Blog, as it’s a primary issue I’ve been facing/learning about lately. How fear keeps me from moving forward. Or how I let it do so. I mean, realistically, why not fixate on the possible positive wonderful outcome? This is after all part of how we can create said wonderful outcome. I have to talk myself through this sometimes and shift the prevailing fear energy into something I can use.

Another thing I’ve discovered, as a performer and spiritual chick, has helped me greatly: Part of the fear or nervousness we experience before performing is simply a building of energy, much like before working with spirit. It’s a building of the big energy that is required to do what we do, singing, acting, dancing, etc.

The first time this occurred to me, I was preparing to sing (thanks guides), and immediately the tension that had been building…didn’t dissipate really, but sort of evened out, and wasn’t so overwhelming. Said energy feels more like an ally when this happens. I remember thinking “Maybe this fear is just Big Energy.” And really, it’s more than what I’m accustomed to dealing with on a constant basis, but it’s what I use to connect with the audience and is what I transmit to them while singing. Which is, I think, why people go see other people perform in the first place. 🙂 What do you get from a singer or a dance troupe or live theatre? An energy that helps you tap into something in you that needs expression. Artists are pretty special I think, and I never looked at them that way before, as serving a purpose other than beauty if you will. As helping others express themselves.

But that is how my California friend Kimberly explained what happens when I sing (in front of an audience she meant), that it helps people tap into their emotions. Which was cool, because I’m relearning what it is that I do these days. And I’m relearning because in the past I only experienced it through a haze of fear, that I had learned to sing through. Ick. I missed most of the good stuff during, though I got the positive feedback later. But because I’d been focussed on the fear during the song, for example, the compliments after often seemed disconnected from my experience of actually singing. Comment if I need to explain this more clearly. Yeesh.

It was so bad that at one point I decided (just before a performance) never to do it again. But that’s a post for another day, and luckily for my spirit, it turns out we can’t escape what drives us.